This summer’s 4 must-see sports movies

Awwww yeah, here we go — it’s summer sports movie time 2014 edition! (!!!)

Summer sports movies usually happen starting right about now, in the summertime. They feature people you often recognize from TV but doing stuff you don’t recognize like giving long speeches and trying not to smile. There’s no smiling until the end of summer sports movies.

Summer sports movies are there because it gets hot in the summer and the movie theaters are generally cold inside. Plus there’s food. How do you get into a sports movie? What happens is there’s big lines of people waiting to see a bunch of shit blow up in the cold movie theater. Usually you start out in the back of that line. By the time you get to the front of the line, all the cool movies about shit getting blown up are sold out.

Then what?

Then you buy…