The NFL Draft Day Drinking Game

I don’t know much about the NFL Draft other than it’s a thinly veiled metaphor for slavery.

By Andrew Pridgen

NFL players are systematically chosen by “owners” after they’ve been processed in a “combine” then they’re dressed up and fussed over by a bunch of rich white guys who sell them into lives of indentured servitude and abandon them when their physical skills begin to erode.

It’s sobering.

So much that I have to get fucking hammered when I tune in to the initiation ceremony. Below, DPB’s NFL Draft Day Drinking Game™

Drink once:

• Every time the phrase ‘questionable work ethic’ is uttered by Mel Kiper Jr. (who works one day a year).
• A draftee’s mother and his baby mamma look like they attended high school at the same time.
• Jameis L. Winston gets his first (alleged) rape wearing a Buccaneers uniform out of the way in the auditorium…